Man makes love to a fish.

On my merry walk to work I go past several murals. It has taken me months to actually notice what they are though. Odd you might say but I run a gauntlet. Shit korean drivers, multiple schools all being let out at the same time and all the ajummas in their North Face gear mean that there isn't much time for absorbing your environment.  
Recently I noticed these lovely pictures. I'm sure that they are actually about fishing but why are they so naked? 'Man makes love to a fish' immediately popped into my head. Thay may say more about me than anything else.

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My New Toy

I wish it vibrated. But it is in fact a new camera. Mine was destroyed when I fell over in the snow and destroyed the lense, but now I have a new one so away I go.

I have mostly used it to take pics in teh day as it is black and I have a sneaking suspicion that I will put it on a dark table, in a dark club and loose it. I'm a dick so this is totally possible. 

Anyway, thursday was monthly test day so I took it to school to show you how gorgous the kids are.  

The first photo is of my youngest class. KAE1. Teeny tiny cuties. We spend our days saying things like 'Mom is in the car', 'The book is big', 'Pam is in the school'. The most difficult thing is trying to get them to figure out the differences in 'R' and 'L'. All the jokes about it are true.

The next ones are of my absolute favourite class. KAE3. We end up playing a game in nearly every lesson and they know that if my thumb is pointed down they will have to spend the who lesson sat. Not running around like manics.

 Ben is my favourite (on the left with me pulling the stupid face). He loves to arm wrestle and shouts detention at me everytime he seems me.

Stella is above. She finds teachers big yellow head fascinating.

                                           

  And this is Kent. King among kids.

My super cute class showing off their English skills. They even do a little dance and say 'bye, bye England'. Love them!!!!



P.S I have eaten my weight in seaweed tonight.

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Fuck you Korean Times

My sense of humour is dark and twisted but whoever did this is clearly a fucked up individual. 100,000 dead and this is what you produce. Oh no, it's okay because the seven Koreans that were missing are now fine. Fuck you dude.

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Ten things I love about Korea. Part 2

6. Ajummas: These are the little old Korean women. Often found in packs, always with the short curly perm, usually head to toes in North Face walking gear. They look adorably cute but don't let this fool you. They are powerhouses. They will pass you to the top of the mountain, stopping only to pinch your big western hips and laugh at you. Pulling your hair is an optional extra.

7. K-pop: I love this stuff. I love, love, love my dirty pop and Korea is excellent at it. Hundreds of manufactured bands filled with hot young things. It is so addictive and it always makes me happy after a crappy day.

8. My friends: The foreigners that i have found here have been an amazing bunch of people from all over the world. I don't think many British people are lucky enough to meet such a huge spectrum of people. I've been lucky enough to find some great people. Ont the other hands there are still a few bitchy girls and a plethora of LBHs (losers back home) who are generally to be avoided.

9. Norabang: Basically karaoke with a Korean name. Private rooms where you can sing and dance to your hearts content. Gotta love it.

10. Koreans: Yes they stare, spit, point, shout 'foreigner', push using their tiny elbows (defiantly not as badly as certain other Asian countries I have been to), are all skinny and pretty but they are great. Friendly, generous, helpful and (most) make me happy to be here.

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Ten things I love about Korea

I think I have been rather negative about Korea so far in my blog but I really don't feel like that. I just use this to vent when I'm a little pissy and tired. I love it here and I think there at least ten reasons why. So here goes.....

1. Korean Taxis: It is like goddamn wacky races. They are very cheap and determind. Red lights be damned. I don't think they really compare to the danger of motorbike taxis in Bangkok but they are fun. They always try to talk to you and when you tell them you don't speak Korean they carry on regardless, with you looking mildly bemused. I have even had them had over mobiles to try to get me to talk to their friends in English. Odd but funny.

2. Galbi: The most amazing food. You have your own little BBQ grill in the middle of the table and they bring you an endless supply of meat for you to cook. It is a strange concept going to a restaurant and cooking yourself but it is damn tasty.

3. Fruit Soju: The drink of kings. Brutal hangover though.

4. Korean children: So damn cute. Over worked as hell, either tired or wired. Sarcastic little bastards sometimes but lovely. I had a class of 9 year olds the other day and the were all calling each other names, 'you're a girl!' 'you're a boy!' etc. Then one came out with 'you're transgender!' Where they hell did that come from? And he knew exactly what it meant.

5. Shopping: The sizes maybe tiny but the shoes fit, and by god are they cute. Also handbags fit everyone so they are rapidly being acquired. The make-up is great and really cheap I just wish I could fit in the clothes more often. Korean women dress fabulously and it is always an occasion for heels regardless of haw many f inches of snow there is.

Okay, I know I have five more but I need to go and buy noodles (maybe that should be one?)

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Because nothing is funnier than fat people falling down

Hahahahahaha this makes me very happy.
'The floor of a weight watchers clinic in Sweden collapsed beneath a group of people taking part in the weight loss program. The cause of the collapse is still being investigated'
I think we can all guess why this happened.
Maybe it was the girls from V magazine?

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Beat this Daily Mail

I honestly thought that the Daily Mail bought us the worlds worst, most nationalistic conservative bullshit but I think the Korean Times may have surpassed all odds today.
The earthquake in Haiti has obviously devestated the nation, with nearly 100,000 dead they have instead chosen to focus of the 7 Koreans that are missing. Seriously? They are not people? What the fuck?! They don't even mention the other thousands missing.
Argh! It annoys me so much. I hate crayy journalism and the Korean Times should win an award for it. The article is below. Does it give you rage too?

7 Koreans Missing in Haiti's Earthquake
By Kim Sue-youngStaff ReporterSeven South Koreans remain missing after the powerful magnitude 7.0 earthquake that hit Haiti, foreign ministry officials said Wednesday. "The ministry tried to confirm the safety of about 70 South Koreans there but seven of them have not been reached yet," an official said.At least four of the seven still missing were said to have been staying at a hotel that collapsed in the quake Tuesday, he said. The earthquake was followed by a tsunami and two powerful aftershocks of magnitudes 5.9 and 5.5.The ministry said that there have been no South Korean casualties reported so far."We are making preparations to send a diplomat from a nearby country if any casualties are confirmed," the official said, asking to remain anonymous.Haiti's presidential palace and numerous other government buildings, many hotels and the headquarters of the U.N. peacekeeping mission were severely damaged in the quake, according to news reports. Communications to the island, the most impoverished in the Western hemisphere, were also cut, they said. A diplomat working with Haiti out of the South Korean Embassy in the Dominican Republic said severed power and communication lines were slowing efforts to confirm the whereabouts of the missing South Koreans, according to Yonhap News."We are having difficulty trying to gather information as the communication network has gone down," Lee Eon-woo, the consul in the Dominican Republic, told Yonhap on the phone.

Humph......

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