Snow, Snow, Snow

As it has also snowed heavily in England this post isn't really that cool but I love to talk about the weather so here goes....we have snow!!!!!! Real heavy 5/6 inch thick snow! (On the right is Holli posing in the snow downtown on Friday night)

We were watching Elf last Thursday and when the movie finished we decided to check to see if it was snowing on the off chance and it was. Amazing timing!

It has snowed pretty heavily every night since. The kind of snow I have never actually been in.

It is fabulous to look at but the city isn't exactly on the ball with salting the roads. Businesses are responsible for the pavements outside their building but that means that huge strips are left covered in snow which becomes compacted ice and is very slippy. I KO'ed once and broke my bloody camera, which is very annoying. I also got dragged down more than once by a drunken friend. I would defiantly recommend the video on facebook. It is the drunken ramblings of two fools but very funny. (My poor bike on the right).

We are apparently going to get a white Christmas but in all honestly I'm not that bothered as we will be sightseeing in Busan (the 2nd biggest city in Korea). What does bother me is that home might get a proper white xmas for the first time in however many years when I am not there. That pisses me off.

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Matching Undies

I think I have mentioned the 'couple look' that many young Korean couples wear before, but for those who don't know it is basically when they wear matching outfits as a declaration of their love for each other.
Apparently they go even further and wear matching underwear too. There are dozens underwear shops downtown and they all feature 'couples' underwear in the window. These are definitely my favourites.

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Unhealthy obsessions

Whilst I've been in Korea I have heavily indulged in my love for Kpop. The bands are all totally manufactured 'idol' pop groups, usually consisting of 5 to 13 members who sing, dance and look perfect. Random english words and phrases are thrown in indiscriminately and the lyrics appear to be non-sense even when perfectly translated. It's fabulous and I love it!

But..... apparentley not as much as a girl who sent a letter to Taecyeon of 2pm (one of the guys on the left, not sure which).

This particular fan letter was written in blood. Not prick your finger and let it drip blood but period blood. Yes, seriously. She even included a sprinkling of pubic hair. When the letter somehow became public no-one believed that it was that particular kind of blood. To prove it the fan girl decided to post a picture of her bloody sanitary towel. You can find the pic online but it is too disgusting to pass on. However, I simply must show you the letter. Translation - I dedicated to Taecyeon my period blood letter. Ok, Taecyeon. You cannot live without me. Sprinkled with a few strands of my pubes.

Gross, just gross.

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Seoul Sound (Get it?)

Last weekend a friend, Holli (fantastic southern accent, like reliving Streetcar Named Desire/ Gone with the Wind all over again) and I took a little trip to Seoul to shop, and by god did we. You only get one size fits all in Gwangju and that size is tiny. So Seoul was our opportunity to shop for girls with a little bit of T & A.
After getting up hideously early on saturday morning we made our way by bus to Seoul. A four hour trip that I slept solidly through. Holli woke me up to show me the torrential blizzard blowing outside but nothing was keeping me awake.
It all went freakishly smoothly. We started with a mazzive steak and shopped all day saturday. I paid far too much money for a coat but it was so bloody cold that I was quickly and easily convinced.
In the evening we met up with friends and raged around the bars in Hongdae (sp?), the university district. The live band bar was shit but as a britney and K pop fan I am never going to enjoy punk. In the end we went to this bar filled with westerns which was a bit of a shock. In my city a white face is not that common and the expats all seem to know each other.
The next day we indulged in an amazing breakfast. Savory waffles, pancakes, bacon. The works. It was awesome. The only thing missing was a massive head sized mug of english tea and some marmite (which I am running out of, what will I do???). We did even more shopping and in the fatty section of one of the malls I even managed to find some amazing jeans. I honestly haven't seen any fat Koreans, I think they may hide them in the plus sections of the shopping malls as there were plently there. But my favourite purchase was a Super Junior calendar, love it!
Seoul is a fab city. Its enormity makes it resemble a dystopian city from some japanese anime. It has everything you could imagine and it grants you a dramatic anonimity. I found that the westerners there had a rather different attitude to those in a smaller city. Besides a few little things Seoul could be any city around the world therefore there seems to be little of the true korean experience. So many people spoke English and although it may be hypocritical to say the english teachers seemed happy to loose themselves amongst the white crowd and ignore the Koreanness (I know it isn't a word) around them.
We returned to Gwangju satisfied that we had made the right choice in not getting jobs in Seoul.
xoxoxoxo

Gorilla (of course, why not?) and our sexual brunch.

Fattys section was clearly labled incase the lard had clouded our eyes

The festival of lights (pretty lights everywhere) and a powerful smoothie apparently

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Good old fashioned family racism

I have been reading a few blogs and some of the English language newspapers based in Korea and they seem quite keen to constantly remind me that Koreans are racist and nationalistic. Supposedly they hate the Japanese (which is rather understandable considering the history between the two nations) and consider themselves to be the master race.
I haven't experienced anything that I would consider to be especially racist. I do get stared at a lot but maybe that's because I'm so bloody gorgeous (or the fact that I am a big blond giant). And I find the AIDS test/ health for my visa particularly offensive.
However there is an online community on Naver (the main Korean search engine) called the Anti-English Spectrum. They are dedicated to preventing the evils (real or imagined) of the native English teachers. Below is something that appeared on their website a few weeks ago.

It made me laugh a lot.

P.S This picture was stolen from Brian In Jeollanam-do's excellent blog  (http://briandeutsch.blogspot.com/). Sorry it took me so long to put the link up!

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Thanksgiving

Last week was American thanksgiving and as nearly everyone I work with is American and we decided that a Turkey was definitely in order. Unfortunately the closest thing to an oven that any of as have to an oven is a tiny little toaster oven that struggles to heat up bread, let alone a turkey bigger than a baby.

So we decided that we should deep fry it. Yes, I'm serious. I didn't even know this could be done. Fortunately one of the girls deep fried a turkey that her uncle had shot at a tail-gate party (how american is that, it's like a stars and stripes kick in the teeth). We got a very large pan filed it with oil and went down to the car park under our building to heat it up. Luckily our little cute old land lady thinks we are hilarious and had no problem with a load of weird white folks starting a hot oil fire under her building.

It took an hour and a half to cook and it was the most delicious turkey I have even tasted! I will never go back to oven turkey again. Oh and the reason the turkey looks so pathetic is because we had to crush it so it would fit in the pot. We killed that turkey good!

I have also found a partner in crime. Some-one that loves to indulge in lifes little luxuries as much as me. Awesome!

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Korean TV

I feel the issue of Korean television must be addressed. I have mentioned in passing that it is generally variety shows but that isn't a totally fair synopsis. I think you need the run down.

At the moment I am watching Twilight (um...) but there is a far amount of other english language TV, even The Simpsons and Americas Next Top Model which both make me very happy.

There are about 5 different shopping channels and if you flick through you are bound to find some karaoke that ranges from the very professional to me on saturday night. There's lots of manga and loads of sport esp the Premier League (they all bum Manchester United cause one of the players in Korean. I have tried to explain that they embody all that is wrong in football (NOT soccer) but they don't buy it).

They also have some very peculiar ideas about what constitutes entertainment. There are a couple of English learning channels (as if the kids haven't had enough learning in one day). They have 2 channels that show computer games being played (seriously? bunch of fucking nerds), there is even a channel showing people playing board games.

The censorship is also a little weird. It seems that asian boobies are absolutely fine anytime of the day, in fact when I turned my TV on this morning the first thing I saw was a naked asian woman getting taped in a historical drama. Caucasian bodies get heavily censured even in the 1990s soft light Emanuelle type soft porn that is on all the time. Violence is fine so long as it is kung-fu style but blood is a no-no.

The most popular show in recent years has been Boys Over Flowers. It is basically about a poor girl that goes to a rich school, gets picked on by the 4 boys below but in the end her optimistic and bubbly personality wins them over and the one with the perm falls in love with her (bollocks to that in real life she'd probably kill herself). Seriously though he permed his hair three times to get that look. What a twat. But I must admit that I really want to see it.

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My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday and too much soju was drank.
We all headed down to the foreigners dinner which involves lots of english teachers getting together and going for dinner.
I was looking bloody fabulous with my new bag that was my present to myself. And the dinner was really nice, a korean BBQ thing that you cook at the table. They thanked everyone for coming and then bloody Kelsey shouted that it was my birthday so I had to stand up whilst they all sang happy birthday. I unashamedly love a bit of attention but I nearly died. 40 people who you have only just met singing to you to the bemusement of the korean diners. I went so red you could have BBQed on my face.
We then went to Soultrain (a bar) that did some very cool cocktail making things and I drank to my hearts content. Then another bar, followed by a Nore (sp?) bang. Basically a room where you do karaoke. We were also drinking a fruit Soju thing that I lived to regret. Soju is basically like a watered down vodka that you think you can drink loads of until you realise that you are absolutely wankered and about to throw up. We gave up around 4 am and crawled to bed.
I had a brilliant night and thank you to everyone who made it.
However, this morning/ afternoon I felt like hell. I was dry retching for hours and my neighbour actually came over to see if I was okay cause she could hear me. I lay in bed until about 7 uncontrollebly shaking. Worst, most brutal hangover I have ever had.
And what is the real kick the teeth is that I am 25 in korea not 24. Annoying.
xoxoxo

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My bike vs Korean drivers

I have a bike. Yay!!!!!

It is a bit odd really. I wimped out of cycling in London because I thought that I would be mowed down by a bendy bus but I have no problem cycling in a country where nearly all cars have a TV in the dash board. Seriously, they do. And the courts has just rejected the idea of fining taxi drivers who watch them whilst driving because of a law created in 1961. I would suggest that this law is of little relevance as korea still getting over the war and people didn't have much food, let alone a bloody TV in their car.

They drive along watching these ridiculous programs that all seem to be a 1970 like variety show that mocks the old, fat and mentally disabled. No-one seems to pay much attention to the road and it is very much each man for himself. I guess that the argument is that the TVs help people to reverse park as they show the rear view however I have already seen two cars merrily reverse into parked cars. It may be judgemental (and hypocritical) but Koreans are pretty crap drivers.
I love my new bike as it is all down hill on the way to work and it now only takes me about 5 mins. But what goes down must go up and that ride on the way back is a killer. I am sooooo unfit. I have to stop and have a little rest on the way back. Hopefully I'll have the arse of a god by the end of the year without the Chris Hoy (sp?) thighs.

Annoyingly I feel like I'm just about to get a cold. Bummer and just before my birthday (saturday in case you had forgotten). I have also come to realise that Korea is my enabler - drinking, smoking, shopping (amongst other things) are all too easy here. With the realisation of thsi fact I will celebrate by getting a little pissed.

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Pepero Day and High School exams

Today (the 12th) was the college entrance for high school students all across Korea. It is a BIG deal. A Levels exams cannot possibly compete as these exams quite literally determine ones future. As I've mentioned before, these kids study damn hard and this is what it is all for. Once they get into the highest ranked college or university they can they chill. It is all about the name and ranking not the course and once they get there they can do nothing for 4 years before they have to join the job world.

Outside the schools were hundreds of parents cheering on the kids. Nearly all buisnesses opened an hour late to relieve the traffic so the kids weren't late and police escorts were given to kids who were for some reason running late.

Swine flu hasn't stopped them either. The kids with it or suspected of having it are simply isolated. They still have to take it. God even thinking about it makes me anxious!!!!

Parents cheering the kids on outside a school in Gwangju

For most in England 11th November is a pretty somber day but in Korea it is Pepero Day. A day created by Lotte (a supermarket) to boost sales of the chocolate dipped candy.

This stuff

It's meant to be similar to valentines day, in that young people and couples exchange chocolate and sweets. Specifically these Pepero sticks because they look like 11/11 (the date yesterday). It's so contrived and really reminds me of the Simpsons episode when Hallmark creates 'Love Day' to fill the gap in the market between holidays. Or maybe I'm just bitter cause my pile of Pepero sticks from the students didn't come anywhere near one of my fellow teachers. Mines right, hers is left.

We decided to celebrate Pepero day by drinking far to much beer on an empty stomach. Oh wait I lie, they did give us some grilled squid. Looks gross but I love it!

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Weather

P.S The weather is back to being beautiful. I find it fascinating!

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Nature

We weekend me and three of the girls went on an adventure to the countryside to see the leaves for the autumn festival.
I dragged my weary body out of bed at 7.30am on saturday and started off on my long journey. First a taxi, then a train, then a bus, then another bus and finally a cable car. But I'm skipping ahead.
After over breakfast of dunkin donuts (I resisted the kimchi donut - as tempting as it sounded) we boarded the train for our merry adventure. The bus was packed full of Koreans all in matching North Face walking gear. It's like the offical countryside uniform or something. When we got off the bus I britishness in me was delighted to find a queue (or a line for americans) and regardless of the fact that I had no idea what it was for I insisted we join it. It really pleases me that the Koreans appreciate a good queue.
It turned out to be a queue for another bus that took us further into the national park. This was like the Vengabus come to life. Hard-core techno music accompanying a traditional ballad.
The park was beautiful. Fantastically colourful but to be honest no more so than home.
I have never seen so many people out for a good stroll together. The koreans really bum nature.
As we were walking we also played the couple look game. Basically some korean couples wear matching outfits and when you spot them you punch the person you are with on the arm.
So after encountering the worlds ugliest drag queen and joining another queue we went up the cable car. At the top we made a child cry then celerated by drinking beer and loosing my return ticket.
Koreans also insist on feeding us. At the end of the day a group came over to us and tried to speak to us but with our limited korean and their even more limited english they quickly gave up and started to insist we eat their very odd food and dance with them outside 7-11. More food was given to us on the way to the train and also a random little old lady knocked on my door this evening to give me what I think is bean paste cake. They are such generous people, it is so lovely. I'm not really sure why they do it and even if the food turns out to be a bit odd the gesture is greatly appreciated.
Bed time I think. Getting my nails done tomorrow morning.
xoxoxo

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Shopping!!!

This week I have indulged in my favourite hobby - shopping!!!!


I mau struggle to fit in any clothes here but I can damn well buy shoes, bags and accessories.


Check out these sexy bitches -

Are they not the most amazing shoes you have ever seen?! Only £15!!!

Down town in awesome. Hundreds of little boutique shops selling millions of pairs of shoes (I bought 3 - qute restrained I feel). Beautiful bags and lots of low priced hand made jewellery. Heaven!!!!! I also went to the massive John Lewis like department store. There were even people singing opera on the bottom floor.

I also bought two new pairs of glasses for only £50. They are sooooo cheap here because everyone wears them. I will put up photos of my sexy new frames later.

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Swine flu and snow

Snow, snow, snow!!!!
Last week the weather in Gwangju was beautiful. Sunshine, flip-flops and sunglasses. Yesterday however it all changed. It was bloody freezing and we had a little bit of snow (less that a half an centimeter but still very exciting!). I an perfectly happy with this kind of cold but some of the other teachers are really suffering, especially the couple from Florida. They were both wrapped up in sleeping bag like coats, huge scarves and bobble hats. Bummer for them!
Below is a pic of the snow on the mountain at the center of the city. Obviously I didn't take it but you get the point.

Problem is that I don't have a really thick winter coat so if it gets bad I'm going to have to fashion something out of my tackyrose print bed sheets and wear that. The koreans already think I'm odd, now I'll just be rose printed odd.
Also, korea seems to be having a massive poo at the moment about swine flu. Half of the people in the city walk around wearing the masks, and even the kids are wearing them in school (maybe it's actually to disguise kimchi breath). This bugs the hell out of me cause it is hard enough to understand what they are trying to mumble without this silly little thing in front of their face that will not do ANYTHING to protect them.
The kids at my school are all having their temperature checked before they enter the building and being sent home straight away if they show any signs of illness but I've heard reports of parents sending their children to school when they have confirmed swine flu. School is that important to these parents. Crazy.
I suspect at some point we will all be required to wear them (as we know all know that it is the evil foriegners that cause these diseases) and if someone tells me too I'm going to draw a picture of a mouth with a mustache and a fag hanging out of it.
So far in Korea 40 people have died. I would suggest that their biggest issue is that everyone watches TV as they drive. Yes, as they drive. Not just a TV in the back of the head rest but up on the dash board so they watch whilst they are driving. Taking a cab can be a terrifying experience. Although probably safer than a rubber ring on a river in Laos.
xoxoxoxo

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Back to the 90s

I'm having a rather english morning today. I've been listening to the Chris Moyles show, drinking a massive cup of tea, and it could all be very normal if it wasn't for the fact that I had sushi for breakfast.
So this weekend I had my first real taste of a Korean/expat night out. As nearly everyone is american halloween is a big deal and fancy dress was pretty much required. I bought a pink fluffy crown and sceptre with the intention of being the Queen of England, and (of course) left it in the taxi on the way back to the apartment. In the end I just went out looking like I had fallen out of the 1950s.
In Gwangju there are only about 250/300 expats so everyone kind of knows each other, or knows someone who knows them. It's a bit like being back in Hild and Bede. There was a girl dressed as Fan Death (suffocation by electric fan - only happens in Korea apparently) and a group dressed as the H1N1 virus (amazing!). Basically they took the piss out of the Koreans and played on their fears.
After some ludicrously cheap drinks and some very poor karoke (sp?) we then headed over to a club called Volume. It was Amazing! Like being back in the 90s. Lazers, black mirrors and smoke machines. It was a mini hound/ ministry. For the first few minutes I could not stop laughing but when we got on the stage to dance all the koreans were loving us. Hands in the air and lots of screaming etc.
No one is sat down and everyone is dancing, including the boys. All the girls are very dressed up in little skirts and huge heels and the boys all have very tight white t-shirts on. (Side note on korean men: they are hot! I really didn't expect this. I've been all over asia and never especially found asian men attractive but these korean boys are tres nice. And tall! Shame I'd squish them)
My mummy is coming to vist me on wed. I can't get rid of the bloody woman. I'm half way across the world and she finds me after only two weeks! (Joke, love you really mummy!) She's here for work and will be often.
Right off to work. Short day today. Yay!

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My first week

So I have reached the end of my first week. Round of applause please.

I had my first day of teaching today, so, of course, I did the sensible thing and stayed out drinking until 4.30am. I was a goodbye for 2 of the boys, where were off back home.

We went straight from work at about half 8 to the bar. A very american looking place, I think it might have even been called Miller Time.

We we drinking from massive plastic bottle of beer that only cost £5. (The glass is a normal size) We also had sweet potato cake, and yes it is ming.

Most people stayed till about 1 but me, two other girls stayed and 2 of the korean teachers stayed. Why are I always the last to leave? We continued drinking and got through 3 of the bg beers.

When your in a bar in Korean you press a bell on the table to make the waitress come over and they always give you little nibbles with your drinks so we got given a weird dryed squid jerky thing. It stinks to high hell and makes you like rot but it is delicious. I'm so gross.

Eventually left and we ended up speaking to some random korean man who owns a local restaurant for ages. It's so funny everyone wants to talk to us. Some guy yesterday almost killed himself trying to shout 'Hawllo' from the back of his motorbike.

The school reception

Felt horrific all day and had to figure out all my timetables, syllabus and a load of other crap. A few vomits later I felt a little better but sooo frigging tired all day. I've basically been drunk every night this week. My liver has turned to pate but according to my health check I am disease free, so at least I have that.

The screaming kids and one of the western teachers in the back ground.

The weather is still beautiful here. Like a lovely english summers day. But there are fucking mozzys everywhere. Evil little bastards have bitten me to shit. The koreans are also terrified of the air conditioning at the moment because they think that it will increase the germs and give them swine flu (very odd, they also have this nonsense idea that if you leave a wall fan on in your bedroom at night it can suffocate you. Fan death- what a load of bloody nonsense) so in order to stop us sweating to death we have to open the windows and all the evil mozzys fly in. So annoying.

Moving to my new apartment tomorrow. Yay!!! Can't wait to have a proper bed rather than the noisiest blow up bed in the world. I'm watching TV as I watch this and I have just seen an advert for a loo with a squirty bum thing. The TV here is so hilarious-loads of variety shows that all seem to take the piss out of the fat and mentally disabled.

I'm loving the teaching so far. The kids are so sute but you have to be really strict with them and give them detention a lot. For every class I set my rules and punishments-

1. Do you homework (detention and 50 lines)

2. Speak only english - NO Korean! (25 lines)

3. Sit quietly (Stand outside or stand up at the back for the whole lesson)

We're really encouraged to be super strict with them cause they do so much school that they will take the piss at any opportunity. We are also told that we can hit them if necessary. Not hard obviously but my boss was telling me that he made some of the boys stand with their arms out for the whole lesson holding all the books they had in their bag. The parents love it and one of the biggest complaints is if we aren't strict enough. I feel quite sorry for them really. They have normal school from 8 till 1 or 2 ish then come to us for another 7 hours ish. They don't finish until around half nine then they have to do they ton of homework that is set for them. And these are all primary school children! Apparently this continues throughout high school and once they get to college they stop working and chillout.

I have to talk in a very slow slightly americanised accent for them to understand me. I feel like such a twat.I'm going to get a Joss Stone like mid-atlantic twang.

Okay, I have to go to bed as I am struggling to keep my eyes open

xoxoxoxo

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Tests

Hospital today for all my tests. Blood, eye, ear, throat, chest xray, dental, urine. At one point to thought they were talking me to gynocology and almost died. They as sooo paranoid about westerners!
Oh and you should try peeing in a cup whilst a little korean granny is hammering on the door shouting at you in a language you cannot comprehend. Good times.
Had a 'Korean' hotdog for lunch. Not a euphamism but tiny non the less. (Haha, I'm so easily amused).
I was watching the kids in a speaking competition this evening and there level of english is so good. THey gave these amazing presentations about the the human body (I actually learnt something) but one of the teachers had been emohasising the uses of the anus so the kids kept on talking about it not realising what it actually was. I also almost died laughing when someone started talking about multiple climaxes - they actually meant in a story but of course my british humour took me else where and I was quietly crying to myself with laughter.
Off to emart tonight (korean tescos) ans I'm a little over excited about it. I need milk and sugar as I will die if I don't have a cup of tea soon.
xoxoxoxo

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Looking rough and tired as hell

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Here!

So after 26 hours in transit I finally made it. And by god did I smell!
I arrived in the airport and emerged from arrivals like a blonde giant amongst gnomes.
Even in the airport there were Louis Vuittons as far as the eye can see and all the women are tiny and gorgeous. It's enough to give a girl a complex; well, it would be if I didn't have such fabulous hair. Anyway if they annoy me too much I will just sit on them and squish them.
I've eaten gimichi already. It's amazingly gross, but I love it. Sushi for breakfast too, fab!
Oh and I also found Korean Spam. Proper Spam in a can!
Off to the school today to have all my tests (HIV, Hep A & B). If I have any of these I will hunt you down and rip your balls from your body. You know who you are.
And I also have a drugs test.....um....should be fine.....
I will post some photos soon but will have to wait on the video as I'm sharing an apartment for a few days beofre I get my own and I don't need her to think I'm nuts.
xoxoxo

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Nearer there

I got an email today to say that my flights have been booked for saturday.
So much to do; I'm so disorganised.
However instead of doing anything productive I went shopping and drank a bottle of wine. My perfect day!

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Nearly there!

So this is it...finally!


After months of planning and organising I will finally have my E2 visa on friday, and of course because of the stupid fucking postal strikes I have to go to London to pick up my passpost. £50 to spend 5 1/2 hours on a train and 3 hours in London. We are in the middle of a recession with people lucky to hold onto their jobs and the Royal Mail holds us to ransom to maintain their outdated 1970s working practises. Absolute bloody prats.


Then I'm off. Well...give or take a few days. The school still has to book flights for me.
I'm desperately trying to get them to book me onto Emirates as you get an extra 10kg luggage allowance. I need 30kg! I will happily sit in Dubai airport for 20hrs if it means I get the extra luggage allowance. 20kg will not do me. I have a lot of shoes and clothes and I am not a small person. I'm still going to fly in a least 3 layers. I'm even considering cutting a hole in the lining of my coat in order to pack it full of knickers and tights. Bit dramatic maybe but I am never going to get into teeny-tiny Korean clothes. I'm going to get my mum to send me boxes full of Primark clothes every few months.


God, I'm shallow. Clearly my only real concern so far has been regarding clothes and my hair. Lots of you have asked me about being nervous living and working in a foreign country for a year and so far I'm not. I'm really looking forward to it!



I keep getting a little over excited and squeeling. Mainly because I will be able to properly stalk Super Junior. The most amazing pop band to come out of Asia. I've put the video below. I even love the fat one!




(And, yes, I am damn proud that I managed to figure out how to post videos)



Right, I'm off to bed. It's 2 am and I have a million things to do tomorrow. Including walking the worlds smelliest and most demented dog for my neighbour. God, I'm nice.

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